Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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