Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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