508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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