It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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