i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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