I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
