Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
