My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
