idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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