Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
