Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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