So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
