Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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