D3 body, D1 cock
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
