but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
