i was rollin on her like bob the builder
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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