is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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