Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
