we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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