hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
