I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
