My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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