whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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