Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
