His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
