Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize