i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
