I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
