After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
