At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
