i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Enjoy the penises
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
