I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
