..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
