i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
