OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
