Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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