Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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