Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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