So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
