Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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