You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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