Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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