You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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