Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
