My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
