i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
