He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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