Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
