You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
