NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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