I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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