You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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