She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
a search helicopter?!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
