Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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