My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize