I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
